寂しい
by Midnight x Poker
Summary: -SPOILERS FOR THE RECENT CHAPTERS- Takuma completed his task. He didn't expect to survive, but someone makes sure he does. TakumaX?


Pain washing over me like waves crashing onto the shore...

Breaths scarcely entering my much abused lungs...

Rivulets of tears drying on my blood-stained cheeks...

...Loneliness...

I'm alone. I made sure of that. My right hand, throbbing with pain, is dripping with the blood of my now deceased Grandfather...

It had to be done. I couldn't allow Ichio to survive. He'd already caused so much bedlam. However...

I... I'm afraid of being alone.

...I've never been alone before. Never. I've always made sure I had someone with me, be it Kaname or Shiki and Rima. If I couldn't find one of them, I'd look for Aido or Kain. Anyone just so I wouldn't be alone.

I can't stand it. The tangible silences, the need for someone, anyone, to be with me. Now, though...

Well, at least I won't be alone for long. I was ending it. All of it. No one by the name of Ichijo would walk the earth. That was what I thought when I made my way to Ichio's current domain. I knew I'd die killing him. Still... Why is it taking so long?

What I'd give to have someone here with me right now. I never realised how desperately needy I am till right now. The saddest thing is that I don't really have anyone, do I? Shiki and Rima, my closest friends, are together. It's not as though they ever say they don't want me around. They never ask me to leave them alone. Even so... I still always feel like the third wheel whenever I'm with them. They're just such a perfect couple. I realise I'm jealous of them. I'd started hanging around with them less and less actually. They wonder if they've somehow upset me, I know. It's not that they've upset me. Just that... I can't bare to be around them. I always feel like I'm being invasive.

Then there's Kain and Ruka, and Aido and Yori. I'm happy for them. I really am. It's great that Ruka finally accepted Kain's feelings. Even better that she reciprocates them. Furthermore, Aido found someone too. Someone who can handle him and who he's head over heels for. It's fantastic. I hope it works out for them all. I really do.

Then, of course, there's Kaname and Yuuki. With the added complication of Zero Kiryuu. Yuuki doesn't realise how lucky she is; two people madly in love fighting tooth and nail for her. I can't help but feel bitter. Bitter... I never thought I, Takuma Ichijo, would feel that. Me, who always has a smile, a kind word. Me, completely and utterly insecure and alone.

Not to mention dying. I wonder if anyone will cry for me... I wonder if anyone will realise that I'm gone...

It can't be long now. I've gone cold... Can't even feel the burn of pain when I draw whatever breath I can. Why can't I just die already? Better that than wallowing in my ridiculous self-pity. Was this Grandfather's final revenge? I killed him, so he's punishing me like this? ...If thats true, then the man is even crueler than I thought. As if that's possible. He's a monster. Always using people as his pawns. I know Kaname does this too. I hate that. Kaname, whom I'd admired, uses the same tactics as that man. Even to him, I was nothing more than a pawn. A means to an end.

That's all I ever am. A tool. To Grandfather, I was a spy for the council. To Kaname, a guard for Yuuki and a weapon. That's all I ever seem good for. Being used. Killing. It makes you think... I want peace. I strive for peace. I thought Kaname wanted the same thing. So, why does he make me kill? Why does he allow a war to happen just so that Yuuki is safe?

Oh! ...This must be it. I can't feel anything anymore. Not the pain, not the ice cold through my blood drenched shirt. Everythings going black... Finally...

* * *

"Where?"

"In the Ichijo compound."

"..And, did he ki-"

"Yes."

"Hmm... It's a miracle he survived then. He probably wouldn't have if you hadn't have found him... In fact, I'm surprised you did. I highly doubt you were just passing by the Ichijo compound by chance. Where you looking for him?"

"..."

"I wouldn't have imagined. How surprising."

"..."

"I wish you the best of luck then."

* * *

"Nhng..."

Am I dead? Well, this isn't how I imagined death. It hurts. _Alot._ Fantastic.

My eyes shot open as something cold landed on my forehead. I was so hot, I could have sworn I heard sizzling.

My head pounded, the light far too bright for my eyes. After blinking a few times, things were beginning to become more clear. A blob to my right became a person. A sleeping person.

...Eh?

I was back at Cross Academy, in my dormroom, in my bed. The familiar scent of lavander, courtesy of Aido's washing up liquid, wafted up from my sheets. The light that had been so overbearing before was relaxing now. The fire was giving the room a cosy glow actually. Looking down, I saw my chest was enveloped in thick bandages, tight enough that it made it hard to move. Thin, white lines marred my porcelain complexion... Scars. Which meant healing. Something I could only do if I were alive. Which meant I wasn't dead.

...Oh... That's Surprising.

I took another glance at the slumbering person curled up in the chair beside my bed. Well, I'm even more surprised. I wouldn't have expected anyone to be beside me. Especially not her.

Seiren.

The mysterious member of the Night Class. Kaname's right-hand. The vampiress without a past, family or even a surname. Well, not that any of us knew anyway. It wasn't as though she spoke to anyone but Kaname.

...Why is she here? It's not as though we're friends. We've never even spoke. Not that I never tried. However, all I ever got was a shake of the head or a nod.

...Aido went through a phase when he thought she was a robot... Well, at least I know that's not true. Robots don't sleep.

Her face was peaceful, chest rising and falling steadily. Lilac strands of hair fell over her face, her head tilted to lean on her shoulder. Her eyelids were fluttering, moving as she dreamt about one thing or another. Her lips were moving slightly, muttering something unintelligable. That's probably the most I've ever heard her speak.

Tearing my eyes from her face, I pushed myself up. Well, I tried to.

"Ow!" I couldn't help exclaiming. I could actually feel my skin splitting open and seeping blood beneath the bandages. I wish I hadn't sitten up. Not worth the pain. My throat dried, my chest constricting. My fangs unsheathed, extending over my chapped and split lips.

...Not good. I need a blood tablet.

_...Buh-Bumph!..._

_...Buh-Bumph!..._

...Huh? Wha... What's that?

_...Buh-Bumph!..._

_...Buh-Bumph!..._

...Much worse... How much blood did I lose? I've never been this thirsty before...

_...Buh-Bumph!..._

_...Buh-Bumph!..._

Damn it, I never realised before... How good Seiren smells...

_...Buh-Bumph!..._

_...Buh-Bumph!..._

...I have to get out of here, before I do something I'll regret.

That thought in mind, I threw back the sheets and swung my legs off the bed. Pain spread like fire through my veins as I stumbled off the bed with as much elegance as a pregnant hippo. I could feel my blood staining the pristine white of my wrappings crimson. That wasn't helping my ever increasing bloodlust. Not at all.

_...Buh-Bumph!..._

_...Buh-Bumph!..._

...Maybe... Just a bit... If I take just a little, not enough to even make her dizzy, then it'll be fine. It's her own fault for being here anyway.

I took a tentative step towards her, my heartbeat becoming more erratic with each beat of hers. The anticipation of blood, the rising excitement... It was overwhelming me.

Any of my usual sense abandoned me, bloodlust the only thing I was feeling. I was panting by the time I reached her, leaning on the arm of the chair, pulling back the collar of her shirt.

_...Buh-Bumph!..._

_...Buh-Bumph!..._

My tongue ran over the tender flesh, slicking it, preparing it.

_...Buh-Buh-Bumph!..._

My mind was too occupied to notice the change of her hearts pace. Too distracted to notice her moonstone eyes snapping open. It wasn't until her hands gripped my shoulders that I regained enough of myself to notice that Seiren had woken.

"It's rude to accost a woman as she sleeps. I should slap you." The first sentence she'd ever spoken to me. Not exactly the best sign of a blossoming friendship.

Her grip on my shoulders tightened, pushing me back slightly. I was still on the chair, but was no longer salivating all over her.

Gritting my teeth, I forced my fangs to retract into my gums, pushed down the beast that was telling me to force Seiren's hands aside and ravage her. That beast was so persuasive...

"...Sorry." I murmured, sliding off the chairs arm and staggering to the opposite side of the room. By the fire, her scent wasn't as strong. I relished in the smell of the ash, the wood burning and how they were must stronger than Seiren's scent of jasmine and... Sugar? Who would have thought. The stoic vampiress had a sweet tooth.

"It's fine... You're bleeding." Seiren stated, assessing my tattered chest pensively. I nodded, gripping the mantle of the fireplace.

Silence fell between us, Seiren staring and me trying to regain more of my senses. I didn't like how appealing Seiren was to me. Especially when I want blood more than ever. Perhaps I should ask her to leave? ...For reasons I wasn't sure of, maybe my desperate desire to have anyone with me, I couldn't bring myself to do that. She'd probably leave by her own steam. Everyone always does.

It was probably because I was so sure of that thought that I was as startled as I was when Seiren rose fluidly from her chair and, rather than leave the room, come towards me. My head snapped round to look at her inquisitively.  
"You lost too much blood. Blood tablets won't sustain you. You won't be able to heal. I'm feeling somewhat generous at the moment, in face of our victory against Rido-sama. Therefore," She was standing in front of me now, pulling her shirt collar away from her neck and pricking the skin with her sharp nails, causing beads of scarlet to roll down her throat, "Feel free to partake in me."

I stared at her in wide-eyed wonder. Was she really offering herself to me?

"Well? You're only going to get worse if you don't drink."

...Seiren was very chatty today, I noted absent mindedly.

A faint crimson glow played over Seiren's ivory face signalling the change in colour of my eyes. I couldn't stop my fangs unsheathing once again, even though I tried. It was as though my hands had a mind of their own as they reached out and pulled Seiren flush against me. Her skin tore like rice-paper beneath my fangs. Then, when the first drop of her delicious blood rolled over my tongue, I lost any of the lingering sense I'd had.

* * *

"Are you sulking, Ichijo-san?" Her tinkling voice reached my ears and I felt a rarely-seen petulant scowl form on my face.

I was not sulking. I was just sitting in the corner as far from her as possible, her still-fresh blood dripping from my chin onto my chest. She was standing where I'd left her, by the fireplace, two red marks positively flaring against her pale skin. She shouldn't have done that. That wasn't fair. I was backed into a corner and she should have left me there. I don't hate many things, but I_do_ hate feeding from people. Especially because I'm known to be rather greedy when it comes down to it. Once I start, it's incredibly hard for me to stop. I suppose she didn't know that, but she must now.

"I'm not sulking." I replied, trying not to sound too broodish. It was bad enough that I'd even _thought_ of violating Seiren. She didn't have to let me do it!

"You have no reason to feel guilty." Seiren said with the same lack of emotion that she did everything else.

"Yes I do."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I _do_." I insisted.

"Fine. You do."

"..."

"However, do you really think I let you drink my blood for nothing? If so, then that's a foolish assumption." I looked up at her words. I may be mistaken, but I could have sworn I heard a hint of amusement in her words then.

"...Eh?" Was the articulate response I had. Seiren finally moved from the fire, moving back to the chair she'd occupied earlier.

"It's very simple. I never do something for nothing. I scratch your back, you scratch mine, so to speak." She responded, folding her arms across her chest. I frowned.

"I don't follow."

"It's very simple. You've fed from me. Therefore, I expect you to allow me the same honour should I desire it. Blood tablets are foul and do not quench my thirst in the slightest. You'll be my food, and I shall be yours. Is that simple enough for you to understand?"

I blinked. Was she really suggesting what I think she's suggesting? To feed from one another... Surely she knows how intimate that is. Only lovers do that.

"You need rest. Your wounds are severe. Go to bed. Think over my proposition. Believe me, it's exactly as it sounds, Takuma." Were her parting words.

As the door swung shut behind the enigmatic vampire, I couldn't help thinking; Seiren's very forward.


End file.
